Emotional Intelligence

Goleman authored the internationally best-selling book, Emotional Intelligence (1995, Bantam Books), that spent more than one-and-a-half years on The New York Times Best Seller list. Goleman developed the argument that non-cognitive skills can matter as much as I.Q. for workplace success in Working with Emotional Intelligence (1998, Bantam Books), and for leadership effectiveness in Primal Leadership (2001, Harvard Business School Press). Goleman’s most recent best-seller is Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships (2006, Bantam Books).

Since the publication of that book, conferences and academic institutes have sprung up dedicated to the idea. EI is taught in public schools, and corporate leaders have adopted it as a new way of thinking about success and leadership. EI, and one’s “EIQ,” can be an explanation of why some “average” people are incredibly successful, while “geniuses” sometimes fail to live up to their promise.

Emotional Intelligence, Goleman’s highly readable and wide-ranging exploration of the best research available by modern psychologists and educators, provides important insights into the true meaning of intelligence and the qualities it encompasses.”

David Perlman, San Francisco Chronicle

Having worked in the Gastronomic industry for a long time, I experienced that  emotional intelligence is undervalued and not  given enough or absolutely no attention, therefor as a business really missing the essence of what could make you much more successful and  efficient in every way.

Living in the modern society does not have to make you into a harsh, selfish nasty cut throat person at all, in fact there is no time that calls more urgently to develop emotional intelligence skills at your workplace.

If you look at why people leave jobs it is rarely because of the company, people leave bad bosses, bad leadership and bad values within the company.

Values can be the glue that holds your company together and emotional intelligence is like double glazing to your house saving you significant amounts of money in your business.

Emotional intelligence is something I value in any operation and still it is not recognised as a financial and overal benefit for company’s. (in my case restaurant industry)

How can we not develop these skills and expect to be the best?

Why do leaders and directors, managers not get any training in how to lead people? What are the criteria of leadership? One say’s leaders are naturally leaders, however even these type of people will benefit from refining these skills by putting some attention to there methods through training.

The owner wants results, they find someone to do the job and the selected person will then do what exactly?

Having bad bosses and a company with no values creates no motivation and dissolution and this filters right through to the consumer.

So why do we still not develop a more humanistic approach to our work places to reduce turnover of staff, to develop the best quality of work, present the best work ethics and customer service and the best results for the company?

Surprisingly as a consultant working for company’s they want all of the above however they will put themselves sideways to unknowingly destroy the very goal they want to achieve by simply not working with the people but instead execute disassociated decisions and loosing connection to the rest of the team.

This is often because the leader or board of management will only cultivate there relationships and trust with the other director making a distinct difference with the rest of the workers which again filters through to the customer as insecurity.

By giving significance to only certain people and excluding and disregarding others, what can you expect from this?

This is a very old fashioned way of running a business that is based on insecurity therefor a superiority has to be created, a kind of dictatorship.

All people are intelligent, life is intelligent and the best way to deal with everything is through intelligence.

Working with Emotional intelligence is primarily developing the following skills:

  • self awareness
  • empathy
  • managing your emotions
  • motivation
  • social skills

Quite commonly businesses focus only on what is going to benefit them which again is also coming hand in hand with treating people as a commodity that mentality will filter through to your customers.

This creates a very one-dimensional feeling in your business.

Why is Apple for example so amazingly successful? The entire product is based on emotional intelligence principles and this filteres right through the people working at the stores.

To illuminate your product and business then you really need to develop emotional intelligence by working with people and let this filter through everything that you do.

To much importance given on the inner circle of a company distancing everyone involved including your customers.

Really all this does not make any sense at all.

Sadly the motivation to achieving gets so fierce that there is a general attitude that develops that is really negatieve    towards others. It is the classical movie character that walks ice cold over people that are perceived as weaker or less important.

At the end of the day you need those people, nobody can run a business on there own so why make them feel inferior?

In the worst case scenario I have witnesses extrem antisocial behaviour coming from directors as well as people with some authority within company’s that result in causing even harm to other workers.

In some cases  ex directores or work colleagues will even go as far as to try to cause even personal harm to someone that has left there company out of pure spite.

I have seen physical abuse in kitchens but mostly mental abuse which is unacceptable and all efforts should be made to evolve and controle our work ethics.

If only the goal matters and not the person then there is something wrong.

When leaders and managers loose all sens of respect for the people they are suposed to be leading then you do ask yourself were are they really planing to go with this company?

When you are at the work place we work with many different people from different backgrounds and ages. Everyone needs to continuously develop these emotional intelligence inorder to become the best worker and become the best company but more so to never forget to be consistant with your values.

You can not have certain values at home and to your friends and at work completely different ones.

I can not really speak in full detail about this vast subject on this blog however to redefine and take great care as to what the foundations are that you are building your business upon is extremely important.

It is not enough to evolve technically in the modern age but we should also develop emotionally creating better ways to deal with each other and recognise that this will improve not only lives and work but profits and aid in running an economic business.

The future of business is emotional intelligence.

Richard Branson as part of his top tips to running a successful enterprise is Listening as you never know from whom or were you can find new inovations or intelligence’s for the benefit of your business.

“The Harvard Business Review recently had an article called ‘The Human Moment,’ about how to make real contact with a person at work: … The fundamental thing you have to do is turn off your BlackBerry, close your laptop, end your daydream and pay full attention to the person.” Daniel Goleman

Here is another interesting talk:

Question: What is emotional intelligence?


Daniel Goleman: Emotional intelligence refers to how well we handle ourselves and our relationships, the 4 domains.  Self-awareness, knowing what we’re feeling, why we’re feeling it, which is a basis of, for example, good intuition, good decision-making.  Also, it’s a moral compass.  Say, in part, is self-management, which means handling your distressing emotions in effective ways so that they don’t cripple you, they don’t get in the way of what you’re doing, and yet, attuning them… to them when you need to so that you learn what you must.  Every emotion has a function.  Also, [marshalling] positive emotions, getting ourselves, you know, involved, enthused about what we’re doing, aligning our actions with our passions.  The third is empathy, knowing what someone else is feeling.  And the fourth is putting that altogether in skilled relationship.  So that’s what I mean by emotional intelligence.  There’re many definitions out there. The part of the brain, it turns out, that supports emotional and social intelligence is actually the last circuitry of the brain to become anatomically mature.  And because the neuroplasticity of the brain shapes itself according to repeated experiences, so my argument is, hey, we should be teaching kids regularly overtime, in a systematic way, self-awareness, self-management, empathy, and social skill.  In fact, there, now, enough programs and they’ve been around enough in schools that they’re about to publish a huge meta analysis, looking at hundreds of schools and kids that had the program versus those that don’t.  Guess what?  All anti-social behavior, you know, disruption in class, find that… it goes down 10%.  Pro-social behavior, liking school, well-behave, up 10%.  Academic achievement scores, up 11%.  So it really pays.  Executive function, which is mediated by the prefrontal lobe, both helps you manage your emotions and helps you pay attention.  So as kids learn these skills, they also learn learning… basic learning skills.  I think that the fact that that was an argument was one thing that caught people’s attention.  Then, there was a little chapter on… called managing with heart, which argued that leaders who were sons of a bitch were actually defeating the company’s own mission.  And I think that made a lot of people happy because they work for people like that.  I don’t know… Some people gave it to other people because they thought they needed help in this domain.  I’m sure there’re a zillion reasons why people like the book.

Question: Are we becoming more emotionally intelligent?

Daniel Goleman: I hope more.  I know IQ has been going up for a hundred years as children encounter more sophisticated cognitive environment as they grow.  I don’t know that we’re becoming more emotionally intelligent.  I like to hope we would but I think that the number of intergroup wars going on, the intergroup hatred going on, the, you know, levels of familial abuse, in other words, indicators of emotions out of control in dangerous ways don’t look that great, which is why I’m a very strong proponent of getting these social, emotional learning programs in every school worldwide.

Question: Are women more emotionally intelligent than men?

Daniel Goleman: Well, I get asked that question in a different way, which is, are women more emotionally intelligent than men?  And you have to remember that emotion intelligence is a range of abilities, self-awareness, emotional self-management, empathy, social skills.  Women tend to be better than men on average at empathy, particularly emotional empathy, sensing in the moment how the other person is feeling and also, at social skills, at keeping things feeling good between people in a group.  Men, on the other hand, tend to be better on average at self-confidence, particularly in group, and at managing distressing emotions.  But what’s very interesting is if you look at leaders who were in the top 10%, there’s no difference between the men and the women on any of those variables.  In other words, you have a whole human being.  So I would say that on average, there probably are differences men and women in this domain of ability.  But as people develop their skills, as people become more effective, they pick up strengths in areas that they need.

Question: What cultures have the highest emotional intelligence?

Daniel Goleman: Well, I think that emotional intelligence as a universal but it looks different in different places.  You know, Japan has a very rigid set of rules of social interaction, lots of subtleties.  Americans typically blender in to the Japanese system, don’t get what’s going on.  And, you know, it’s embarrassing but they wouldn’t recognize, necessarily, emotional intelligence in Japanese setting.  Brazil is a very different culture.  It’s very outgoing, you know, kind of like an Italian culture.  And so, it will look different there but I think the fundamentals are the same.